It was always going to happen. It had to.
We’ve heard comedians and professors — even Hollywood stars — positing for ages on the ruins and remains future generations might find as they excavate our Boomer, Gen X, Millennial strata. They just never considered the Indiana Jones of tomorrow might actually be a DIY guy from Crystal Lake, Illinois.
(If you’d like to imagine the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme music in your head as you read this it will help set an appropriately serious tone.)
DIY guy was doing a bathroom remodel on his 1959 home. As he removed a fixture from the wall he noticed something poking through the plaster. Being a rational human being he fiddled with it until out came a vintage McDonald’s bag….with a half eaten order of french fries still inside (which he says were still perfectly crispy and that is just hard to believe because when I have them at 10 minutes old, they are cardboard….maybe they crisp back up around year 47?).
It turns out that he lives near one of the oldest McDonald’s locations in the country, and that McDonalds opened in 1959, which is … Anyone? Anyone? … the year his house was built.
He is steadfastly refusing to sample the fries.
Sadly, moderators of the Reddit thread where our DIY guy — known as user u/slamminsammy2109n — originally posted about the find, have removed it, but you can still see the image there plus all of the chatter from other Reddit users envious of his miraculous discovery.