The absolute worst Tom Hanks films
Ever since he first burst onto the scene, Tom Hanks has built a career as a good-natured everyman, a man with basic decency who is impossible to dislike. He’s relatable, and he’s been able to parlay that into a very successful movie career.
In a career as long and prolific as his, you’re bound to make some stinkers, and oh boy did Tom Hanks ever make some stinkers. Here’s a list of 10 movies that he starred in that lacked the great, insightful writing found on “Bosom Buddies” or in that one episode of “The Love Boat” that he was on.
Ever since he first burst onto the scene, Tom Hanks has built a career as a good-natured everyman, a man with basic decency who is impossible to dislike. He’s relatable, and he’s been able to parlay that into a very successful movie career.
In a career as long and prolific as his, you’re bound to make some stinkers, and oh boy did Tom Hanks ever make some stinkers. Here’s a list of 10 movies that he starred in that lacked the great, insightful writing found on “Bosom Buddies” or in that one episode of “The Love Boat” that he was on.
Warner Bros. Press Photo
‘The Bonfire of the Vanities’ (1990)
An adaptation of the Tom Wolfe’s novel, “Bonfire of the Vanities” was the first movie Tom Hanks made as a fabulous celebrity that didn’t do well at the box office or with critics. He would bounce back later in the decade, but the movie inspired a lot of “Is Tom Hank’s career over?” headlines in the gossip rags. We should only be so lucky.
Columbia Pictures Press Photo
‘The Da Vinci Code’ (2006)
Tom Hanks is a capable actor and he’s proven that he’s up to the challenge of taking on more serious roles. Unfortunately, he’s made some movies in which he tries to project a persona as a very, very serious thespian, and it’s borderline insufferable. “The Da Vinci Code” finds our hero looking terribly serious and furrowing his brow to and fro, and it’s ridiculous. Also, what’s with the hair?
Paramount Pictures Press Photo
‘Forrest Gump’ (1994)
Yes, we know, this movie won a lot of Oscars and is beloved by moviegoers the world over, who became collectively infatuated with the title character, who suffers from an unspecified cognitive disorder and makes him behave in ways consistent with that of people who have suffered a traumatic brain injury. The movie is long and stupid and features lines of dialogue that people won’t shut up about to this day.
Warner Bros. Press Photo
‘Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close’ (2011)
Based on the 2005 novel of the same name, this movie proved a lot of things, not the least of which is that nobody is really ready for a 9/11 movie yet. In a review titled “Extremely, incredibly, exploitive,” Amanda Peyser of the New York Post said of the movie, “Nothing is spared in the quest for emotional blackmail, cheap thrills and a naked ploy for an Oscar.”
McDermott Productions Press Photo
‘Mazes and Monsters’ (1982)
Okay, technically, we may be going outside the lines a little bit with this one, because it was a made-for-television movie and was never released theatrically. This movie stars Hanks as a college student who plays a fantasy roleplaying game like Dungeons and Dragons, which the movie says will cause demons to infest your soul and whisk you off through some portal to the shadow realm. Hey, in the 1980s, people actually believed that stuff.
Universal Pictures Press Photo
‘Dragnet’ (1987)
A tragically unfunny theatrical remake of the classic television show, “Dragmet” is the ideal viewing choice for people who want to sit for two hours with their arms crossed and scowling. Hanks is joined by Dan Aykroyd in this movie, so at first blush you would think they could squeeze a few laughs out of it, but the truth is that the movie is simply not funny. Maybe they should have written a script?
Universal Pictures Press Photo
‘The Money Pit’ (1986)
The story of a couple working on their dream house, “The Money Pit” should have been relatable to just about anybody who owns a piece of real estate. It didn’t happen. The movie relies mostly on a lot of really stupid slapstick gags that no one outside of the ‘Bugs Bunny’ set will find amusing. On the plus side, it features a cameo from Mountain guitarist Leslie West, and we would have been okay if the movie had just been West playing a 90-minute version of “Mississippi Queen” instead.
Warner Bros. Press Photo
‘The Polar Express’ (2004)
“The Polar Express” was mostly an excuse to play with CGI, and it has no story or characters that you will care about for even five minutes. In fairness, the little kids love this movie, so it’s got that going for it, but once they turn five they’ll move on to more compelling fare like “Veggie Tales” and “The Backyardigans.”
Bachelor Party Productions Press Photo
‘Bachelor Party’ (1984)
“Bachelor Party” is a movie that could have only been made in the 1980s, and despite boasting the estimable talents of Adrian Zmed and Tawny Kitaen, it suffers from that same problem suffered by so many comedy movies – it’s not funny. Try as they might, the filmmakers are somehow unable to mine comedy gold from one of the bachelor party guests trying to kill himself repeatedly. Also, a horse snorts cocaine at one point, which is also not funny.
DreamWorks Pictures Press Photo
‘Saving Private Ryan’ (1998)
The first 25 minutes of “Saving Private Ryan” are an absolute cinematic tour de force that depicts the brutality of war in a way not seen before or since. Unfortunately, there’s still two and a half hours of movie after that, which falls far short of that opening scene. Steven Spielberg won the Best Director Oscar for the movie, and on the strength of that scene, he deserved it, but the rest of the movie is just not interesting.
This article was produced and syndicated byMediaFeed.
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