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Five Minute Crafts, you have done it again!

As normal human beings, we have been wearing our jeans in a normal, societally approved,  human being kind of way. But, is it possible that all of us could have gotten it wrong?

Five Minute Crafts has the courage to say yes.

If you aren’t familiar, Five Minute Crafts has long had our best interest at heart. Whether they are teaching us how to make hideous phone cases out of melted hot glue sticks or showing us that we can pull our hair back into a ponytail and just whack it off to get gorgeous salon quality hair, it has always felt like they wanted us to be the best us we could be.

Until now.

Now there is an entire Five Minute Crafts video dedicated entirely to what seems like a hate crime against jeans. Oh, the humanity…

Behold! Atrocities abound, such as the stapled together front of two innocent pairs of jeans to form the monstrosity that is the Double Sided Jean (no, it doesn’t make sense. None of this makes sense), on through to the blatant promotion of using underwear as stencils.

In one of the most graphic moments of blue-jean butchery, Five Minute Crafts encourages us to actually cut the butt portion of the jeans out entirely, and then, it’s hard to even type this, hot glue giant multicolored sequins all over them to make RAINBOW SEQUINED CHAPS which would be appropriate on literally no occasions ever.

You can watch the video below. If you dare.

Being a fashion maven myself, I feel that I must speak out against the practice of splattering paint all over your jeans to camouflage a food stain. You are not being clever. Everyone knows what you’re up to. Just WASH THEM, for Pete’s sake, WASH THEM!

Ah, yes, Five Minute Crafts, we have raptly watched you do so many pointless things over the years, but this time you have flown too close to the sun and all of our eyes burn from your smoke…or is it from viewing the “fashions” themselves?

Either way, you owe us and our jeans an apology.

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