13 funny money lessons from classic horror franchises


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We’ve investigated hundreds of movies, TV shows and video games for cases where insurance would have helped our heroes protect against survival situations. Unfortunately, most of the time insurance wouldn’t do anything to help in a horror scenario — good luck getting a payout after a zombie apocalypse. The good news is that in a few cases, insurance actually could have helped get a little payback for all the mayhem and destruction.

We’ve tried to keep ending reveals on the down-low, but we can’t promise these reviews are completely spoiler-free. Most of these picks make the list of best horror titles anyway, so now is the perfect time to brush up on your horror flicks.

Image Credit: DepositPhotos.com.

1. Friday the 13th

Check your business insurance

After Mrs. Voorhees’s son drowns at Camp Crystal Lake, she vows revenge on the new camp counselors. But wrongful death should be covered by the camp’s business liability insurance. Mrs. Voorhees could have sued for damages and likely gotten a payout instead of going mad on the camp counselors. Or she could have done both and used her payout money to buy a snazzier sweater for her murder rampage.

Image Credit: DepositPhotos.com.

2. Cujo

Pet insurance can be worth the cost

The neighborhood is shocked when Cujo, the family dog, catches rabies and goes on a killing spree. If only this family had kept poor Cujo up to date on his rabies vaccine or kept him from wandering too far from the house. Legally required rabies vaccines only cost about $20 out of pocket, and they’re covered by wellness pet insurance policies, so there’s no excuse not to vaccinate.

Image Credit: DepositPhotos.com.

3. Poltergeist

Check your home insurance policy

In this classic story about a haunted house, ghosts spook this family and communicate with the youngest daughter through the TV. Does home insurance cover possession and destruction of a home? Yes, vandalism caused by uninvited ghosts would typically be covered, if you can provide proof of the damage.

And because the real estate developers didn’t disclose that the homes were built on a cemetery, the unlucky homeowners could sue for negligence due to nondisclosure, which would be covered by the developer’s business liability insurance.

Image Credit: Warner Bros. Entertainment / IMDB.

4. Troll 2

Your home insurance can cover food poisoning

In this cult classic B-movie, youngest son Joshua is on a mission to prevent his family from eating poisoned food during a vacation gone wrong. The good news is food poisoning is usually covered by home insurance. That means Joshua could get a decent claim payout if his efforts are unsuccessful.

Unfortunately, camper insurance wouldn’t cover cleaning up the popcorn mess in the RV from the infamous corn scene.

Image Credit: MGM Studios / IMDB.

5. Resident Evil

Maybe you need an umbrella insurance policy

A gaming tale as old as time: An evil corporation creates zombies in secret labs, the zombies break loose, and everyone dies. According to video game canon, the Umbrella Corporation inadvertently causes the destruction of Raccoon City after releasing zombies to terrorize the city. The famed pharmaceutical company went bankrupt in 2013, after losing its lawsuit for causing the zombie outbreak.

It’s ironic that the Umbrella Corp. might have been able to use umbrella insurance to help cover the cost of the lawsuit payout, though the loss didn’t stop them from trying to reform the company.

Image Credit: Capcom.

6. Breakdown

Maybe add roadside assistance to your car insurance policy

A married couple’s car breaks down roadside in the middle of the desert while on a cross-country trip. But instead of calling for a tow, the couple relies on help from a passing truck driver, who then abducts the wife. It’s a common scam.

Drivers should never hitch a ride from the first random car or an unexpected tow truck that shows up. Roadside assistance included with a car insurance policy or even a motor club membership like AAA could have gotten the couple a new battery for about $100 and a one-hour wait.

Image Credit: Paramount Pictures / IMDB.

7. The Blair Witch Project

Consider buying a travel insurance policy

Filming local folklore and legends in the woods without a backup plan? Bad idea.

There were mobile phones back in 1999, when this movie was filmed, so a call for help might have saved the film crew. That’s assuming they would have had any cell signal or a charged phone battery, a common horror movie trope to counter modern phones. Travel insurance companies can help support rescue and evacuation efforts if you’re stuck in the woods.

Image Credit: Artisan Entertainment / IMDB.

8. Silent Hill 4: The Room

Definitely get the renters insurance

There wasn’t anything in Henry’s lease about the hauntings and escaped murderer obsessed with his apartment. Renters insurance would likely help replace any belongings that are damaged due to ghostly possession, assuming Henry could pin the blame on vandalism caused by the killer or ghosts.

Either way, his landlord’s insurance would cover fixing his broken front door and patching up the mysterious hole to another dimension that appeared in the bathroom. But that’s assuming Henry can keep from getting murdered first.

And unlike previous Silent Hill games which featured the hilarious UFO endings, Henry can’t even make an alien insurance claim, unfortunately.

Image Credit: Konami.

9. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

If you’re alive, get identity theft insurance

This horror mockumentary follows Leslie Vernon as he prepares to join the likes of Freddy, Jason and Michael as an infamous serial killer. However, Leslie Vernon turns out to be a villainous pseudonym, with a backstory stolen from a local town legend. That’s a clear case of identity theft called ghosting — when someone steals the identity, including name and address, of a dead person.

While the real Leslie Vernon can’t sue for damages, the camera crew could have reported Leslie for stolen identity and gotten the heck out of there.

Image Credit: GlenEcho Entertainment.

10. Insidious

Make sure you have health insurance

Youngest son Dalton was playing in the attic of his family’s new house when he hit his head and fell into a coma. His mother is stuck becoming his caretaker until comatose Dalton can be cured, which starts to become a drain on their finances. We’re hoping they had decent health insurance to help pay for medical bills while they resolved the demonic possession issues.

It’s too bad insurance won’t pay for sessions with a psychic and paranormal investigators since they’re not licensed therapists.

Image Credit: Blumhouse Productions / IMDB.

11. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

Buy insurance for your vacation home

Poor Tucker and Dale were having a doozy of a day when some crazy college kids showed up at their new vacation property to wreak havoc. Let’s hope Tucker remembered to get vacation home insurance before they started renovating and things started getting bloody.

vacation home insurance policy with personal liability covers property damage, accidental deaths, injuries and resulting medical bills.

Image Credit: Eden Rock Media / IMDB.

12. Child’s Play: Curse of Chucky

You may want to consider a disability insurance policy

In Curse of Chucky, we learn that Chucky once stabbed Sarah, a woman he’d loved, when she was pregnant, resulting in her child being born with a disability.

Though you can’t get disability insurance for an unborn child, a disability insurance policy would have helped Sarah pay the bills while she was pregnant and after she developed mental issues from the trauma of being attacked by a serial killer. The only caveat is that she would have had to take out the policy before she got pregnant.

Image Credit: Universal Pictures / IMDB.

13. The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Go ahead and buy the life insurance

Sabrina Spellman lives in the town of Greendale along with her friends and family in this television series. The only problem is there’s a crisis there every other week, and someone always ends up dead.

We’re actually not sure why anyone still lives in this cursed town, but it’s pretty clear every Greendale resident should take out life insurance. Just don’t make a life insurance claim if you’re going to use your Cain Pit to get resurrected or you risk facing claim fraud.

If only the show could be resurrected so we’d get a season five.

Image Credit: Netflix.

Bottom line

By horror movie rules, you might not need insurance because you won’t live long enough to make a claim. But in reality, having the right insurance could make all the difference in a horror scenario.

This article originally appeared on Finder.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.

Image Credit: Alexmumu / istockphoto.