7 People Who Were Hilariously Unimpressed With the Grand Canyon

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The Grand Canyon has over 1,200 reviews on Yelp. Can you believe that? 1,200 different people thought their opinion of the Grand Canyon was so unique that they had to stick it on the internet. Wild stuff.

The best part? Not everybody thinks it’s the beacon of natural wonderment that it’s cracked up to be. Take a look at these seven Yelpers who thought they were cooler than the Grand Canyon.

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1. An Ugly Scar

Not only was Roberto from San Clemente unimpressed, he straight up called the Grand Canyon ugly, saying it’s  “an ugly scar on an otherwise beautiful forest.” He also suggests a dam “to stop erosion and refill this hole.”

Image Credit: DepositPhotos.com.

2. Not So Grand

Acorn O. wants to know what is even so grand about this canyon in the first place, calling it a “hole in the earth” before going on to say “anything could beat this canyon.” Relax, uh, Acorn. I’m not even really sure what that means. Like, in a fight?

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3. DUI Watch

One Yelper seemed upset to be dealing with a sobriety check driving the dark, unsafe roads that surround Grand Canyon National Park. This feels like a pretty good place to make sure everybody is driving safely, no? 

For a moment, I was ready to chalk this up to a conspiracy theory, but then I remembered that about 10 years ago, I was also pulled over near the park and had my car searched in the same fashion, and I was sober as a judge. So, maybe they really are out there looking to bust people.

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4. Grand Blandyon

“There was dirt everywhere” says one Yelper that I’m praying isn’t serious. They also point out the lack of vending machines or any phone charging stations. That’s a damning enough review, but the closing line is a K.O.: “More like Grand Blandyon.”

Personally, I’d have gone with “Bland Canyon.” Rolls off the tongue a lil’ better.

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5. A Good Place for Murder

Sara L. says a lot of things in this review, but one bit is far more chilling than the rest: “Easy place to commit murder. Just push a dude over the cliff and nobody finds out.”

You won’t catch me at the Grand C. with Sara L. any time soon.

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6. Not as Good as Yellowstone

“Once you’ve been to Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon is a joke,” says one Yelper

I’d like to remind this condescending doofus that these two attractions are not next door to each other, and most people can only choose one of these world-class natural phenomenons at a time. Just because Del Taco is better than Taco Bell, that doesn’t mean there’s no reason to ever eat at Taco Bell, ya know?

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7. A Giant Hole in the Ground

Yarmus K. hated the experience, calling it just a “giant hole in the ground.” Yarmus also points out that there are no roller coasters or Dippin’ Dots either, and he’s not wrong.

Image Credit: erikharrison / iStock.

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