Your daily horoscope for May 9, according to ChatGPT: Hey Scorpio, no one asked for your brutally honest opinion


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Each day we ask ChatGPT to provide us with your daily horoscope readings, and it never disappoints. But today, it became rather grand (and snarky) in its prognostications!

“Greetings, dear stargazers and astrological aficionados! Buckle up as we rocket into the cosmos, ripping through the velvety fabric of today’s astrological outlook, where celestial bodies throw light (and shade), and our destinies are written in the stars, albeit in a font size so small even a space eagle would need a telescope.

“Let’s embark on this celestial journey, shall we?”


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Aries (March 21 – April 19):

Today, Venus is trying to flirt with Mars in your sign, but Mars, like that one guy at the bar, doesn’t quite get the hint. Be wary of miscommunications today, Aries. And no, that doesn’t mean you should avoid your boss’s emails about deadlines.

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Taurus (April 20 – May 20):

Saturn, the cosmic buzzkill, is lurking in your financial zone. You might feel tempted to buy that 17th pair of sneakers today, but resist, dear Taurus, resist. Your bank account will thank you, and so will your already overflowing closet.


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Gemini (May 21 – June 20):

The moon is DJing in your house of self-expression, Gemini. So, crank up that celestial stereo and dance like everyone’s watching, because they probably are. It’s your time to shine or, at the very least, time to perfect those TikTok dance moves.

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Cancer (June 21 – July 22):

Mars and Jupiter are having a loud argument in your career house, Cancer. Today might feel like you’re in a cosmic episode of “The Office,” but remember: as long as you aren’t the one starting fire drills, you’ll survive the day.

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Leo (July 23 – August 22):

Today, Leo, the Sun and Mercury are playing cosmic volleyball in your social sector. You might get bombarded with invitations for Zoom parties, but remember, there’s no shame in muting notifications and pretending you’re “busy.” The Lion needs its beauty sleep.

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Virgo (August 23 – September 22):

The Moon has set up camp in your relationship house, Virgo. This might make you feel like having a heart-to-heart with your significant other. Be bold and express your feelings. Just remember: “We need to talk” is as scary for them as a surprise visit from your in-laws is for you.

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Libra (September 23 – October 22):

Venus is doing yoga in your wellness zone, Libra. So, grab your cosmic mat and indulge in some self-care. And no, eating the last slice of cake for breakfast doesn’t count as “self-care” — even if you eat it mindfully.

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Scorpio (October 23 – November 21):

Mars and Pluto are playing truth or dare in your communication sector, Scorpio. Be careful with your words today. Remember: honesty is a virtue, but no one asked for your brutally honest opinion on their haircut.

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Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21):

Jupiter is having a slumber party in your house of domesticity, Sagittarius. Today might be the day to finally fix that leaky faucet, or just embrace your inner Bob the Builder and tackle those DIY projects. Yes, you can!
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Capricorn (December 22 – January 19):

Saturn is hitting the gym in your self-improvement sector, Capricorn. It’s the perfect day to learn something new. You might want to pick up a new language, like Klingon. Who knows? It might come in handy if Star Trek becomes a reality. And if not, well, you’ll definitely be the life of the next Comic-Con.

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Aquarius (January 20 – February 18):

Venus and Mercury are having a dance-off in your house of finances, Aquarius. This might bring an unexpected windfall or make you feel like treating yourself. Just remember, buying that avocado toast won’t make you a millionaire, but hey, at least you’ll have some delicious toast.

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Constance Brinkley-Badgett

Constance Brinkley-Badgett is MediaFeed’s executive editor. She has more than 20 years of experience in digital, broadcast and print journalism, as well as several years of agency experience in content marketing. She has served as a digital producer at NBC Nightly News, Senior Producer at CNBC, Managing Editor at ICF Next, and as a tax reporter at Bloomberg BNA.