14 Ways to Last Longer In Bed


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Though estimates vary, some research suggests that up to 30 percent of men experience symptoms of PE at one point in life or another, and even those without PE may still want to take a feature-length evening to director’s cut runtimes.

What we’re saying is: wanting to last longer in bed is totally normal

If you want to become a master , you must learn to delay, grasshopper. So, how do you do it? How do you become a master? What is the best way to last longer in bed?

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14 Science-Based Ways to Last Longer in Bed

“How to last longer” isn’t a simple question, and there’s no single path to lasting longer in bed for everyone. Figuring out what works best for your needs may take some time, so be patient (and ask your partner to be patient with you) until you figure out how to last longer in bed for you.

Think of the 14 suggestions below as a pleasure toolbox, because there’s at least one “right tool” for every job.

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Try Desensitizing Condoms or PE Spray

If there’s a problem you can’t solve, there’s a chance you just haven’t found the right tools yet — and that non-medical advice extends enthusiastically to intimacy. From specially designed condoms to numbing agents that can reduce your sensitivity, there are plenty of ways to last longer with help.

Wearing a condom in general provides some degree of desensitization, and some are thicker than others. 

Another way to is to use topical anesthetics such as benzocaine or lidocaine.

Both benzocaine and lidocaine are used as localized anesthetics, but in recommended topical doses, they can also reduce your sensitivity.

How you apply those medications to your privates, depends on what seems easiest for you — medicated wipes, sprays, gels and some condoms for PE contain these numbing liquids and creams.

For example, Clockstopper Climax Delay Wipes and Delay Spray for Men use benzocaine or lidocaine to give you greater control over your level of sensitivity, all without excess numbing or discomfort. 

Applied five to 15 minutes before, these over-the-counter products can help you stave off PE and provide a nice confidence boost that can prevent anxiety. Just make sure to wait if you’re about to have intercourse — otherwise, you might leave your partner uncomfortably numb.

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Ask Your Healthcare Provider About Medication

“How to last longer in bed for men” may ironically be a question best answered outside the bedroom and in a doctor’s office. That’s where you’re most likely to get safe and effective help in the form of medication for certain types of dysfunction.

Antidepressants like the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) paroxetine and sertraline are commonly prescribed to treat depression, but they’re also prescribed off-label as treatments for PE. The reason is the common side effect that they share: delay. 

While SSRIs aren’t FDA-approved for PE, your healthcare provider may recommend using this type of medication if you often finish too early, effectively boosting your mental health in two ways.

A 2019 review and meta-analysis published in BMC Urology found that the SSRI paroxetine was well-tolerated and more effective than fluoxetine and escitalopram in the treatment of PE, so that may be a good place to start.

Likewise, medication for dysfunction might help in certain circumstances. The most popular medication for ED is Viagra (sildenafil).

(RelatedHow Often Do Couples Make Love?)

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Practice Pelvic Floor Exercises

Pelvic floor exercises, or kegel exercises, are linked to several improvements in health, and having more control.

Yes, that’s correct, fellas. Men can benefit from kegels, too.

Your pelvic floor muscles are located below your privates and control the flow of urine from your bladder. You can feel your pelvic floor muscles in action when you tense — they help to stop your urinary flow and prevent you from defecating.

For example, in a 2014 study, 40 men with lifelong PE engaged in 12 weeks of pelvic floor muscle rehabilitation. 

At the end of the treatment period, more than 80 percent of the patients had gained control over their ejaculatory reflex and increased their IELT.

On average, the men increased from an IELT of less than 60 seconds to a range between 123.6 and 152.4 seconds by the end of the 12 weeks.

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Focus on Connecting

Its definitive — activity preceding intimacy is one of the unsung heroes of good, satisfaction. And if you’re having trouble figuring out how to last long in bed, it could be the cheat code you’ve been hoping for.

According to a survey of over 1,000 women,  more than 70 percent of women either reported clitoral stimulation helped them, or that it was essential for them to successfully reach satisfaction at all.

In fact, only around 18 percent of the women surveyed reported they reached satisfaction from intercourse alone. In science, this is referred to as an “opportunity.” 

Take advantage of this time — use your mouth, fingers or toys (yes, plural, like this one) to stimulate your partner and make it more enjoyable for both of you. 

Even a few minutes of this can significantly increase the intensity, helping you and your partner keep the good time going longer.

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Try Different Positions

You don’t need to be a certified yoga instructor to try great new positions that might improve your stamina or increase your partner’s pleasure — or both.

The “how to last longer men” in your group of friends may have some suggestions they’ve inadvertently shared over drinks, but let us bring some physics to the conversation.

Intimacy is all about angles, as anyone who’s switched from years of missionary to the exciting doggy style alternative will confirm. 

But you don’t actually want doggy — you want cowgirl or another position that allows your partner to get more pleasure with less thrusting. This reduces your stimulation, increases theirs and in the process might put the two of you on the same pace to the finish line.

(RelatedThe Best ED Pills for Men: Pros & Cons of ED Medication)

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Try the Stop-Start Technique to Slow Down

The stop-start technique is an old-fashioned therapeutic technique for slowing down and increasing the amount of time you can last in bed. 

It’s simple: when you feel like you’re about finish, stop until you feel the urge go away. You can repeat this process several times to extend your stamina.

Not only does the stop-start technique let you have it for longer — it can also help you feel more comfortable with the sensation that occurs when you’re about to finish.

This can make it easier for you to react to a too-early oncoming finish, and either slow down or stop your movement until the sensation passes.

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Experiment With Edging

Edging is kind of like a solo version of the stop-start technique that you can use to quickly and easily familiarize yourself with the warning signs that you’re about to finish. 

By practicing this technique, you may find that when you’re with a partner you can quickly bring yourself back from the point of no return. 

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Use Visualization Techniques to Calm Yourself

Visualization is the process of using mental visual images to draw yourself into a specific scene or environment, such as a relaxing space free of any worries. While it’s used mostly in meditative relaxation, it can also be used in the bedroom to distract you from your urge to finish.

There’s no high-quality research on the effectiveness of visualization for PE, but many guys find that distractions in bed can improve their stamina.

Think about a spreadsheet or filling out tax forms if it helps. Or maybe the weather or your favorite dessert. Whatever you go with, try not to turn yourself off completely. 

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Learn the Squeeze Technique

Another way to put the brakes on an imminent finish is the squeeze technique. When you’re aroused, blood flow to the privates increases

Similar to the stop-start technique, the squeeze technique involves firmly squeezing below the glans of your privates as you feel it approaching. Then, waiting for the urge to recede before getting back to business with your partner.

It’s important to communicate with your partner when using this technique. If you prefer to have your partner squeeze for you, make sure to clearly explain to them how much pressure to apply and when to squeeze. 

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Have a Solo Before

At the end of the day, everyone wants a quick way to beat the system. But the best way to do that may be a solo quickie.

After that, your body starts to enter what’s called the refractory period. During this recovery phase, you’ll likely find it harder to get get hard— if you’re even interested in it at all.

The length of the male refractory period can vary. For some men, it’s less than one hour, while for others, it may last for up to 24 hours. You may need to figure out what yours is, but once you have that information, doing this before can increase your time to finish.

Even if you choose not to keep an hourly log, you can still get some benefits by doing it  earlier in the day or shortly before being with a partner. Just don’t overdo it, or you could end up with a situational degree of ED

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Improve Your Cardiovascular Fitness

Though it might not seem like it on the surface, function and high blood pressure are very closely intertwined.

Exercise is vital for maintaining men’s health and wellness, and cardiovascular fitness is particularly important when it comes to performance. While neither of these things affects PE directly, your cardiovascular fitness level is a crucial element of your overall satisfaction (and your partner’s, too).

According to this study , high levels of cardiovascular exercise may have a protective effect against common forms of dysfunction in both men and women.

Cardiovascular exercise — jogging with your dog, playing basketball with friends, riding your bike around your city or neighborhood, going for a hike — is more about the habit than the form. 

The key is to find a form of exercise that you enjoy so that you’ll stick to it. 

With regular exercise, you may also see improvements in your weight, mood and sleep, all of which can have a positive impact on your stamina and overall intimacy function. 

Aim for 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic exercise or 150 minutes of moderate aerobic exercise per week, and try to incorporate at least two days of strength training into the mix, as well.

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Change to a Healthier Diet

It’s no secret that obesity can have a negative effect on your performance. 

Research shows that men with obesity have an increased risk of ED.

Aside from getting a suitable amount of exercise every week, choosing what you eat and prioritizing foods that nurture heart health are a surefire way to move the needle towards better intimacy.

Certain foods, such as whole grain carbohydrates, lean meats, low-fat dairy products, fruits and vegetables may improve blood flow throughout your body, helping reduce your risk of issues like ED while maximizing the effects of exercise to increase stamina.

Above all else, try to limit foods that are high in saturated fats and sodium, which could have a negative effect on your blood circulation and performance. 

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Communicate with Your Partner

Maybe the best answer to how to last longer in bed naturally is to make the experience more natural, calm and communicative. Relationship problems often come from a lack of communication, which can affect each person’s self-esteem, reduce the enjoyment of shared intimate activity — the list goes on.

Communication is a two-way street. Taking time to communicate your needs is just as important as asking them of your partner — what you could be doing more of, or differently. 

For instance, your partner may not even be worried about how long you can or can’t last. Maybe they prefer stimulation. Maybe intimacy doesn’t actually “do it” for them regardless of how long you can last. 

Tell them you’re struggling to last longer. Tell them you want to do it for their enjoyment. Tell them what makes you finish faster. It can help them avoid pressing the “magic button” — or give them the tools to do it whenever they please.

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Talk to a Therapy Professional

If you’ve tried some of the methods above and you’re still struggling, you may want to consider seeing a therapist or other mental health professional.

Although it may seem awkward to talk about your intimate life with a stranger, therapists are trained to handle these particular challenges. You may even want to consider couples therapy if you’re struggling to connect with your partner as a result of performance issues.

While the idea of using therapy to treat PE  and last longer in bed might seem unusual, there is science to back it up.

For example, a 2011 scientific review noted that several studies suggest a benefit to psychological interventions such as therapy for PE, although the evidence is currently “weak and inconsistent.”

Often, talking with a therapist can help you to deal with other issues that may be affecting you in bed, such as a stressful workplace or challenges in your relationship.

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The Final Word on How to Last Longer in Bed

Contrary to what movies and pop culture might teach us, intimacy doesn’t need to be a marathon to be enjoyable. However, being able to “go the distance” certainly isn’t a bad thing when it comes to pleasurable, satisfying intimacy. 

For those of you wanting a cheat sheet, here are your “How can I last longer in bed” bullet points:

  • There are ways to improve your stamina. Medications, topical agents, tools and techniques offer a variety of solutions for a variety of lifestyles.

  • You’ll need to figure out what works for your needs. If you’d like to improve your stamina and last for longer the next time, try one, two or several of the tips above — feel free to mix and match. 

  • Getting professional help can speed up your improvements. If you find it very difficult to last in bed and feel concerned about PE, you may also want to talk to a licensed healthcare provider about treatment options and get tailored tips.

This article originally appeared on Hims.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.

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