Well, you aren’t anymore; you’re firmly in middle age, and while you can still find your favorite old TV shows on Prime Video and your favorite Echo & the Bunnymen albums on Spotify, that stuff is all 40 years old. You seem no more hip than your grandparents did when they watched “The Lawrence Welk Show.”

Your music and television tastes aren’t the only things making you seem old, either. Your catchphrases are woefully out of date, and you need only utter them in the vicinity of your embarrassed and mortified teenagers to see that’s the case. So, to allow you to retain some small measure of respect from your offspring, we offer these 10 examples of Gen X hipster lingo that you need to stop uttering, lest you let on that you are indeed just another loser in middle age like everyone else.

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‘Talk to the hand’

This catchphrase is said to have been popularized by Martin Lawrence on his 1990s sitcom “Martin.” It means “Stop talking to me,” and it was the subject of a 1995 feature in Indianapolis Monthly that helpfully explained that it “is accompanied by a hand in front of the victim’s face.” If you say it today, it will elicit laughter from everyone in the room under 40, and it won’t be the good kind of laughter either.

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‘As if’

One of the great mysteries plaguing the human race is why the 1995 movie “Clueless” is considered funny or entertaining. We may never know the answer, but one of its lines of dialogue – “as if” – became a catchphrase nonetheless. For the betterment of the world we’re leaving to our children, we beg you to please stop repeating it.

Image Credit: IMDb.

‘Don’t go there’

In the 1990s, if you told someone to talk to the hand, and they kept talking to your face, you could escalate your attack by telling them, “Don’t go there.” The “there” in question was generally a topic you didn’t want to be discussed, and the statement also implied that if the person went there, they would face dire consequences.  

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‘Word to your mother’

A line from the Vanilla Ice song, “Ice Ice Baby,” the phrase “word to your mother” was an instant punchline the minute the song came out, and nobody who said it out loud meant it seriously. Today, if you say it out loud, no one under 40 will even know what you’re talking about. So stop saying it.

Image Credit: IMDb.

‘Not!’

While popularized by the 2006 movie “Borat! Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan,” yelling “not” after making a statement you wished to contradict dates back to the 1980s, giving it some nostalgia value for Gen Xers. It was obnoxious and never funny and an excellent time to retire it is now, if you haven’t already.

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‘What’s the 411?’

A great way to look like a clueless person in middle age is to enter a crowded room and ask the people in it, “What’s the 411?” You see kids, back in the 20th century, if we needed to contact a person or a business, we would pick up our telephones and dial 411 to seek the answers we needed. So Gen Xers, add this phrase to such other obsolete ones as “phone book,” unless you enjoy the sensation of younger people staring at you like you’re crazy.

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‘Wassup?’

Decades before the Budweiser company was making Kid Rock angry with its choice of spokesperson for Bud Light, it was airing stupid commercials with stupider people saying “Wassup?” to each other repeatedly while a football game played in the background. The commercial was universally hated but the catchphrase stuck, and some still say it today. If you know such a person, please compel them to move on.

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‘You go, girl’

This one always sounded gross and insincere, even when its use was widespread. Today, it sounds gross, insincere, and obsolete, and we’re reasonably certain that anyone you say it to for any reason will not appreciate it. For the sake of your own social life, we urge you to let this one go.

Image Credit: iStock.

‘Tubular’

In the 1980s, it was not uncommon for some in their teenage years to opine positively about some matter or another by saying that the matter in question was “tubular,” or “totally tubular” in exceptional cases. While its use was pretty common, it seemed stupid at the time to most people, and anyone saying it today can be reliably informed that it makes others think you’re stupid for saying it.

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‘Gag me with a spoon’

“Gag me with a spoon” was a statement widely attributed to residents of California’s San Fernando Valley in about 1981 or so. It translates to, “I dislike this thing to such an extent that it may induce vomiting,” a statement so hyperbolic that no one would say it seriously. Sadly, some did say, “Gag me with a spoon” seriously, and if you’re still doing it, there’s no better time to stop than immediately.

This article was produced and syndicated by MediaFeed.

Image Credit: Depositphotos.com.

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