For anyone who has ever had the honor to care for an aging relative, the gifts of this act are immediate and apparent. There is the chance to complete an important circle, to show love, and so many other intangibles.
Still, it would be wrong not to recognize the strain – financial, physical and emotional, that this care necessarily causes a loving caregiver. For all these reasons, it is critical to equally support the caregiver, as the caregiver supports their aging relative.
It can be emotionally difficult for people to accept help with things like using the bathroom, and taking a shower. So too can it be difficult for a caregiver to physically provide it. Visiting nurse services can provide essential respite for caregivers who need a break and want to be certain that their loved one is in capable hands.
The emergent Sandwich generation bears the cost of managing care for their children, themselves, and their parents all at the same time. According to a study published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues:
“As age at first birth has increased, along with life expectancy, the probability that adults will face responsibilities for care of both young children and elderly parents has increased. Nearly half (47 %) of Americans aged between 47 and 59 have an older parent aged at least 65 years and are also raising at least one child aged under 18 or provide financial support to a grown adult child aged 18 and over.”
For anyone who has ever had the honor to care for an aging relative, the gifts of this act are immediate and apparent. There is the chance to complete an important circle, to show love, and so many other intangibles.
Still, it would be wrong not to recognize the strain – financial, physical and emotional, that this care necessarily causes a loving caregiver. For all these reasons, it is critical to equally support the caregiver, as the caregiver supports their aging relative.
It can be emotionally difficult for people to accept help with things like using the bathroom, and taking a shower. So too can it be difficult for a caregiver to physically provide it. Visiting nurse services can provide essential respite for caregivers who need a break and want to be certain that their loved one is in capable hands.
The emergent Sandwich generation bears the cost of managing care for their children, themselves, and their parents all at the same time. According to a study published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues:
“As age at first birth has increased, along with life expectancy, the probability that adults will face responsibilities for care of both young children and elderly parents has increased. Nearly half (47 %) of Americans aged between 47 and 59 have an older parent aged at least 65 years and are also raising at least one child aged under 18 or provide financial support to a grown adult child aged 18 and over.”
The cost of this is difficult to measure. It helps to imagine the combined responsibilities and obligations of different generations of a family. For example, the needs of a school age child (ballet, soccer); the professional obligations of a parent (work meetings, business trips); and the needs of an aging parent (medical appointments, social obligations). In offering assistance to a family under pressure, consider ways to develop a centralized care calendar and invite extended family, friends, and others to help out.
Sit down with the person whom you wish to help and begin by asking exactly what their schedule looks like. Then build a calendar that reflects the complexity of their daily life. Who can pick up a child from school and take them to ballet? Who can take the aging relative to a support group at the community center every Monday at 7? Who can come to the house and make sure everything gets done from homework to medication when the primary caregiver is out of town from February 23 – 25. Get specific.
Consider also the daily needs of a family and consider ways to offset costs. As a person gets older and/or more infirm, needs may become more intense. Conversations around respite care and visiting nurses may need to take place more regularly.
In the meantime, there are any number of things that add up. Items from the pharmacy add up fast.
Rides to places are a big help. Rides to and from doctors can be logistically complicated and time consuming. Therefore, creating a ride share account and paying into it are helpful.
So too are providing meals to the family juggling so much. Meals can be provided in person if the person giving lives nearby. But do make use of extended networks whose members may certainly be invited to participate from a distance using a gift card to Ubereats, Grubhub, or Seamless. All these services enable your recipient to select their own dinner and have it delivered.
Laundry services may be extremely useful. Let’s be real – any family could use a laundry service. That said, such a service might be essential for a family needing to change sheets regularly.
Families all take a village. Clear communication enables all who want to participate to do so – and to the best of their ability. Some people will have more time than they do money. Others may have more money than they do time. Working together, an extended family can work collaboratively to provide care to the person they all love.
This article originally appeared on GiveinKind.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
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Top 10 Eldercare Items Retirees Need
For older people, managing the challenge of self-care is a delicate balance. Many geriatric patients are hesitant to ask for or accept financial assistance from friends or family. They worry that they might burden those they love, knowing that those upon whom they rely have their own obligations.
“You’d be surprised. I have elderly patients sign out against medical advice because there is no one to feed their dog. They come back later, half dead. They risk their lives because there is no one who thinks to help with their pets.”
This coming from Andrew Wilson, M.D., an ER doc in a rural hospital. He speaks without judgment, from a place of compassion. Dr. Wilson reminds us that even those with insurance are not always fully covered. For someone living on a fixed income, even having 80% of these costs covered may still not be enough.
Give InKind asked Dr. Wilson to identify ten things elderly people often need but don’t always get. Sometimes these needs can fall through the cracks, so take this as a checklist and check in with a loved one.
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Elderly patients living alone often need help with their pets. Those wishing to assist such a patient would do well to check in with them about pet care and make the necessary arrangements for care, boarding, feeding, etc.
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Dental insurance is not comprehensive and access to care is often very limited. As people age and dental care becomes a greater concern. Pain and discomfort is a common complaint among geriatrics. Look to help out with that. Ask about the dental care they are able to access and see whether you can help to provide that.
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These very necessary items are not always covered by insurance.
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This is especially relevant for patients with diabetes. Foot care items for someone with diabetes can be healing. They are, however, expensive and sometimes out of reach for patients with a limited income.
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Rides to and from medical appointments. Cab rides are a significant expense, especially if the need arises regularly. Check whether services like Lyft and Uber operate near you.
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Train tickets to medical experts. For people with unusual cancers or who require specialized care, living in a rural area can present a challenge. For older patients, a local expert might not be available and the care they need might be located in a city several hours away. Older people people may no longer feel comfortable about driving long distances or maneuvering urban landscapes. Arranging help with transportation and accommodation is well worth it.
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It is no secret that prescriptions for many elderly people are out of date. In an effort to save money, many will not replace glasses when they break, opting instead to fix them with tape. Take a loved one to a doctor and make sure their visual needs are taken care of. Offer them a gift card to Target so that they can go and purchase items for eye care – such as eye drops, readers, etc.
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Many geriatrics enjoy reading books but can no longer see the print. Tablets have settings that allow readers to adjust font size.
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Make sure orthotics fit well. Geriatric falls are commonplace and are often the result of ill-fitting footwear or poorly made orthotics. Take your loved one for a pedicure to ensure feet and nails are taken care of properly. Falls are a common reason for hip breakage and could be the result of a poor gait.
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These batteries can be budget busters for someone on a fixed income. Make sure to check whether a loved one has an adequate number of these batteries on hand. Life can be depressing and unnecessarily difficult if you can’t hear properly, and plus, people are safer if they hear can well.
This article originally appeared on Giveinkind.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
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Featured Image Credit: PeopleImages/istockphoto.
