Insights from a Big Dogs Network Leadership Conversation with Tom Martin
One of the most energizing Big Dogs leadership conversations this year had very little to do with AI tools, outbound tactics, or the latest business development playbooks.
Instead, it focused on something far more fundamental and, in many ways, more challenging: how professional relationships actually form and why so many business development efforts fail long before a buyer is ready to engage.
Our January guest, Tom Martin, grounded the discussion in a concept borrowed from the social sciences that immediately resonated with the Big Dogs community: propinquity.
Propinquity refers to the idea that the more frequently and meaningfully people encounter one another, the more likely a relationship is to develop. This applies to friendships, romantic relationships, and, critically for Big Dogs members, professional relationships.
What made this concept especially powerful in the context of business development is what it doesn’t rely on. Propinquity is not about pitching. It is not about chasing decision-makers. And it is certainly not about forcing transactions.
It is about proximity, relevance, and trust built over time.
Why This Resonated with Big Dogs Members
Big Dogs members operate in a very specific business environment. We sell expertise, judgment, and perspective, not standardized products. We work with large, complex organizations where buying decisions are rarely linear and almost never fast. And we engage buyers who are experienced, skeptical, and overwhelmed by competing claims of differentiation.
Against that backdrop, Tom offered a reframing that landed with particular clarity:
Business development is no longer primarily about who you know.
It is about who knows you, and what they believe about you, before they ever need you.
This shift changes the entire posture of business development. Instead of focusing on how to insert yourself into a buying moment, the work becomes about shaping perception well in advance of one. The goal is not to be discovered at the moment of need, but to already be familiar, credible, trusted, and the preferred solution when that moment arrives.
Visibility Is Not the Same as Familiarity
A defining insight in the conversation was Tom’s distinction between visibility and emotional familiarity.
In today’s environment, visibility is relatively easy to manufacture. Content can be generated quickly, distributed widely, and amplified through algorithms. But visibility without relevance does not build trust. In fact, it often contributes to the noise that senior buyers actively try to avoid.
Familiarity, by contrast, is earned. It develops when people consistently encounter ideas that reflect a deep understanding of their challenges, constraints, and tradeoffs. Familiarity is what allows a prospective client to think, “This person understands my world,” long before any formal conversation takes place.
Big Dogs members immediately recognized this distinction. Vanity metrics may indicate reach, but they do not create conviction. Trust is built through resonance, not repetition.
The most effective business development content, as discussed in the session, tends to do three things well. It reflects real problems buyers are struggling with. It demonstrates lived experience rather than abstract expertise. And it allows the audience to see themselves, their organization, and their internal dynamics in the narrative being presented.
When this happens consistently, the first business development conversation is no longer about proving credibility. That work has already been done.
Rethinking Conferences and “Pay to Play” Models
The conversation also surfaced a candid reassessment of traditional conference strategies. Tom challenged the assumption that paying to attend conferences or paying for speaking opportunities meaningfully improves access to senior decision-makers.
In many cases, the opposite is true. Senior leaders are increasingly guarded in conference environments precisely because they are inundated with overt selling. Paid speaking slots, particularly those tied to sponsorships, can undermine credibility by signaling commercial intent rather than expertise.
What emerged instead was a discussion about alternative paths to influence: speaking alongside clients, contributing through associations, hosting webinars rooted in original thinking, and creating content ecosystems that allow one strong idea to travel across multiple formats and audiences.
The underlying theme was consistent with propinquity itself. Authority is built through contribution, not proximity purchased with a credit card.
The Big Dogs Perspective
What made this conversation especially aligned with the Big Dogs ethos is that it rejected shortcuts. There was no promise of rapid scaling or guaranteed pipelines. Instead, the emphasis was on doing the slower, harder work of building a reputation grounded in substance.
In a world increasingly shaped by automation, AI-generated content, and relentless outbound pressure, the takeaway was refreshingly human. Relationships still matter. Credibility is accumulated one interaction at a time. And meaningful differentiation comes from perspective, not volume.
A Final Reflection
If this discussion prompts a reconsideration of how you think about content, presence, or business development more broadly, that is precisely the intent.
The most effective business development strategies rarely feel transactional in the moment. They feel natural, even inevitable, when the timing is right.
That is propinquity at work.
Like MediaFeed’s content? Be sure to follow us.
This article originally appeared on Linkedin.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org
