Dating Costs Rise
Match Group (MTCH), the owner of popular dating apps Tinder and Hinge, just reported a 2% increase in paid subscribers across all of its platforms for the third quarter. In particular, Tinder’s paid users increased by 7%.
For reference, Tinder has three different tiers of paid plans: Plus, Gold, and Platinum. A 12-month plan charges a monthly price of $4.50, $7.50, and $9.00, respectively. Match’s strong numbers come as Americans are getting squeezed by the highest inflation rate in 40 years. Despite decreased spending power, more people are willing to pay for dating apps now in comparison to last year.
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Can’t Buy Me Love?
While a paid subscription to a dating app might sound as discretionary as spending comes, dating experts say that it can substantially improve your chances of finding a relationship. This is mainly because paid subscriptions typically reduce the dating pool, leaving users less overwhelmed. Paid tiers are also less likely to be spammed by bots.
Going further, experts say people who pay for a dating app are more likely to commit — to meeting matches, following up, and trying harder for a relationship. It’s a little bit like how you might never watch Netflix (NFLX) while borrowing someone else’s login info. But, as soon as you’re paying for the streaming service yourself, you’re more inclined to watch new shows to get your money’s worth.
In this sense, if you’re in the market for love, putting a little bit of money on the table can be a powerful motivator.
Investing in a Relationship
Another way to think about it is this: most people have no problem investing in a relationship, once they’re in one. They will pay for dates, gifts, lunches, and more. So, why not use that same mentality for finding a relationship?
It’s worth noting that each dating app has its own set of perks when it comes to paid subscriptions. If you’re considering paying for a dating app, you might want to test out a few free trials before committing to one.
Of course, this isn’t to say that paying for Tinder Platinum will get you a one-way ticket to love. The old saying “money can’t buy love” still rings true. But when it comes to making the decision to commit, having an investment on the line might go a long way.
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This article originally appeared on SoFi.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
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Dating disasters to avoid if you’re over 50
If you’re single and ready to mingle, you’re hardly alone: There are 18 million unmarried Americans age 65 and older, according to a 2014 census by the U.S. government. While dating can be tough, you have the power to get what you want—whether it’s a companion, a lover, a spouse, or something else.
But first you need to figure out: Are you sabotaging your own efforts at finding love in the dating pool? We talked to dating and relationship experts all over the country to find out the most common dating mistakes people over 50 make.
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“My clients over 50, have often verbalized not wanting to look like an “old fool” in a dating relationship,” says Tarra Duford Ph.D., MFT, a relationship specialist and CEO of Family Matters Counseling Group in Orlando, Florida.
“Playing games and/or remaining aloof by not getting too involved may make you feel safe, but you run the risk of coming across as unfeeling, uninterested, and detached.”
Instead: Just keep telling yourself, people of all ages worry about looking foolish. “Being honest with your intentions, likes, dislikes, and what you are looking for in a relationship will never lead you astray,” says Dr. Duford.
“Either you find what you are looking for or you find that the individual you are interested in is not the best fit for you. To receive love, one must be open and ready to accept it.”
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“The No. 1 mistake people over 50 make is continuing to go after their ‘so-called type,'” says Cindi Sansone-Braff, a.k.a. The Romance Whisperer, a featured Dating Expert on Older-Dating.co.uk and author of Grant Me a Higher Love and Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships.
“Ask yourself, ‘How has going after my type worked so far?’ If the answer is ‘not so good,’ then start thinking outside the box.”
Instead: Try dating someone who simply seems like an interesting, kind, fun, successful human being, suggests Sansone-Braff. “By the time you’ve lived a half a century or more, you know it’s what’s inside that counts,” she says.
“Stop worrying if he’s cute, or how tall or short he is, or whether she has blonde hair and long legs. And, by all means, stop saying he or she isn’t your type before you’ve even given the person the chance to prove otherwise. You might just find out that when you let go of “Your Type,” you actually let love in.”
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Singles over 50 who are new to dating don’t always know how much time dating can involve. By middle age, you may already have a full social life, a job, and family demands, which means you may have to make some space for someone new.
Instead: Try to balance your life and create “we” time with your potential mate before you get too deep and blend families, says Julie Spira, CEO of CyberDatingExpert.com, who has been coaching singles for over 20 years.
“At the end of the day, your kids will grow up and have separate lives—and so will their kids. You both need to focus on your new relationship as something that could last for the rest of your life.”
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“How many children do you have?” “Do you own your own home?” “Are you on good terms with your ex?”
If you find yourself conducting an interview the likes of which a police profiler would approve, take a step back. “These questions are not good for those in the early phases of dating,” says Dr. Duford.
“Asking too many questions on a first date often puts the other person on the defensive. You can also come across as if you’re filling your own personal criteria for what a mate should have, act like, or look like.” Not a great context for being authentic.
Instead: Focus the questions on interests, likes, dislikes, and what they are looking for, she suggests. Use the beginning of a relationship to determine whether you actually like the person, and give your potential mate the space to be himself without the stress of living up to what they think you want.
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Over the course of your adult life, you’ve likely fallen in love with—or at least met—someone you consider to be the cream of the crop. But idealizing people in your past can cloud your present vision.
“It’s hard not to compare someone new with the person you might still be holding a torch for,” says Spira. “If you have a side-by-side checklist, there’s no way someone new will make the cut.”
Instead: As Spira says, it’s time to leave the baggage behind. “Knock your ex off the false pedestal you have him or her on—there’s a reason they are an ex,” she says. “They weren’t perfect and neither will be the new person you’d like to start dating.”
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While baring your soul can leave you feeling vulnerable, if you never ask for what you want, how will you ever get it?
“Pretending you really have no expectations or demands for the relationship, conveys you are happy with whatever course it may take,” says Duford. “Engaging in ambiguous language and behavior puts you at a disadvantage when you are trying to get your needs met.”
Instead: Express your intentions and answer all questions from a place of acceptance and understanding that there are no judgments, says Dr. Duford.
“When the question of ‘what are you looking for in a relationship’ comes up, you want to say something like, ‘I am interested in dating with the possibility of a long-term committed relationship,'” she says, if your true purpose is finding someone you can share your future with.
“You never know where a relationship will go, but you want to be clear and open about what you are interested in. Assertiveness should never be confused with being overbearing, bossy, or demanding.”
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According to a survey conducted in the United Kingdom, the average woman will kiss 15 men, go on seven dates, go on four disaster dates, have two long-term relationships, and have her heart broken twice.
It’s an emotional rollercoaster, to be sure, but one you must ride to find the one you want to be with. The trick is not getting discouraged by uncomfortable experiences, says Joan Price, sex expert and author of Naked at Our Age.
Instead: Price suggests looking at a bad date as:
1. A chance to practice dating: how to make an awkward conversation more pleasant, how much to reveal, how to elicit interesting info from our date (even if we never want to see that person again)
2. A good story to tell our friends
3. One step closer to the date that WILL work out!
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If you have a chronic illness or are chronically struggling with your budget, these major life stressors are likely on your mind all the time.
But avoid being too forthright, too fast, about your challenges when filling out an online dating profile or in person on your first couple dates, or they may end up defining you, says Trish McDermott, the founder of Encore Dating and former resident dating expert and spokesperson for Match.com.
Instead: Lead with your strengths, the things you feel confident about, and let the hard stuff come up later. “These are issues that are best introduced after you have spent some time impressing someone with all your great qualities—kindness, sense of humor, passion for life, strong friendships, integrity, etc,” says McDermott.
This article originally appeared on Considerable.com and was syndicated by MediaFeed.org.
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