No one is greater or more important than Steve Martin. Oh, excuse me, Mister Steve Martin, and he knows it as well as we all do. And as a personage of great import we are happy to see that he is taking every advantage his celebrity has to offer.
Case in point: His 2010 concert rider (which specifies an artist’s requirements when performing at a venue) for his tour with The Steep Canyon Rangers. The details of said rider were leaked on Martin’s official fan club site.
The rider demanded that all security personnel be identifiable as security staff and must additionally carry blankets and pacifiers and be trained in giving hugs to the performers when they are feeling vulnerable.
But wait. Theres more. It gets specific. There is a demand for “no rough, scratchy clothes, except for Steve’s thong” and a request for 12 hollowed out coconuts for the band to wear as bras.
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It is the most magnificent rider ever crafted.
Completely wacky and over the top, it will keep you in stitches and, for you deep thinkers, will make a pretty pointed statement about how we treat those upon whom we bestow celebrity. But, Martin has always been this guy. The one to leave you laughing hysterically, but also tempted to think a little more than perhaps we would without the influence of his subtle machinations.
We deeply hope every one of Steve Martin’s ridiculous, hysterical demands was met (instruments only to be tuned by wiry sarcastic dude named Shorty, Lou or Lightning and a single pair of men’s swim trunks, size medium, in case there is pool on stage). He truly makes something as self-important as a concert rider really funny.