I cannot roller skate. At all. It’s weird because I’m a natural athlete. Give me a set of uneven parallel bars and I can show you something all right, but rollerskating? Thank you, no. Just the thought of going to a roller rink makes my right eye twitch. Haven’t been in years. Haven’t even been tempted ….until today.
Today I saw this…
It’s bad… so bad it’s good. Really good, and all of a sudden I’m reevaluating my entire roller rink policy.
The hysterical local commercial is the brainchild of comedians and YouTube stars Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal, made for their IFC series Commercial Kings (among other hilarious things), but it’s a real commercial for Brad Armstrong’s Reno, Nevada roller skating rink Roller Kingdom and it’s unique, to say the least.
Focused around some of the worst things you can imagine, a shady dude in a car offering drugs to a kid, a flat out creeper trying to lure another kid into what is very obviously his kidnapper van with promises of candy, another kid confronted by a hard looking street gang trying to recruit her for nefarious purposes. It takes a definite turn into the funny when the kids all respond in the same way, “No! I’m going roller skating!”and the bad guys are instantly thwarted.
The testimonials from kids are the best. “I want to be addicted to roller skating, not crack!” and “If we roller skate today we’ll go to college tomorrow!” and my very favorite bit of new information, “Prison is for people who have never roller skated!” See, I didn’t know that. I don’t think a lot of people know that.
Rhett and Link are always funny, but this is next level, and the cheese factor in this little slice of fun is just right.
So, remember, “Prison is for people who never roller skated!”
Don’t say you weren’t warned.