Chuck Norris is the toughest and most America loving individual that has ever placed a firm hand across his heart and sworn allegiance to the old red white and blue. Has the problem arisen that he could not handle? Ever? In a word, no….and I have video proof.
In this video, Top 10 Chuck Norris Moments (which must have been extremely difficult to hold down to 10, because, let’s face it, Norris’s entire life has been a greatest hits reel. He taught the Osmonds self defense for crying out loud. ) posted by WatchMojo.com on their YouTube channel, we get a taste.
But just a taste.
Why? For your own protection. Because no human being could ever fully comprehend the magnificence that is Chuck Norris. It has been proven scientifically (OK, it HAS NOT been proven scientifically, but believe me Texas is working on it) that Norris has evolved so far past the average person that we cannot even grasp his powers. If we were to see more than 10 examples of his grandeur in one sitting, our little brains would overload, leaving us the exact opposite of Chuck Norris…a jiggling mass of fear and weakness, in other words, human.
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Norris spins, kicks, punches, sends bad guys flying, breaks, sets, then re-breaks a bad guy’s nose … and even fights Bruce Lee with his chest hair, and other acts of rugged manliness with control. Control and his overblown ability to be awesome.
So, pop a soda, crack open a cold beer, or drink a water glass full of rotgut whiskey (Chuck Norris drinks only milk and the tears of his enemies) and check out the most dangerous man to ever trod the boards.