Woman falls headfirst into outhouse toilet trying to retrieve phone


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This is a story of absolute horror.

A woman hiking alone in Olympic National Forest in Washington state decided to use the privy. It was a decision she will regret until the end of her days.

According to reports from KitsapSun.com, the unnamed woman was at the top of Mount Walker when the urge hit her, so she went into one of the provided outhouses or “vault toilets,” and tended to her business, as you do.

And then she dropped her phone into the open hole of the privy. Yes, she did.

I am imagining screams of rage echoing around the mountains, but she probably handled it better than most of us would.

She went full MacGyver. She dismantled the toilet seat and began using dog leashes (that she apparently had on her?) to try to fish out her now super-icky phone, when that didn’t work she got the idea to tie herself off with the leashes and lean into the hole to snatch her phone.

And here is where we realize there is no justice in the world. That things don’t always work out for the best, and that bad things do happen to good people. Because she fell. She fell headfirst into that hole.

And then she couldn’t get out. She tried to escape for 10 to 15 minutes.  Really think about that for a second.

On the bright side, she was reunited with her cell phone and was able to call 911. The Brinnon Fire Department responded to her call and fished her out of the noxious ooze, washed her down (I would actually request a Silkwood shower in this situation) and recommended she seek medical attention for exposure to human waste, but she just wanted to go home. Who could blame her?

Firefighters told the Kitsap Sun she was unharmed.

I wonder if she would agree?

This article was produced and syndicated by MediaFeed.org.