You won’t believe who vandalized this cooking show star’s pricey Aston Martin

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Television cook show presenters are dark and rebellious souls. Of course, they will give you excellent advice on the structure of your trifle and support your dream of creating a buttercream so masterful it changes lives. They are the very picture of acceptability, gentleness, kindness and a desire to share their vast knowledge as they mentor others. 

Until the cameras are off.

And then their sordid darkness is revealed. 

One of the most soul-shuddering moments of criminal insanity in modern history was related by actual victim Paul Hollywood, chef, host, businessman and author, on The Jonathan Ross Show, and posted to the channel of the same name on YouTube, and it has to do with a very dangerous character indeed. 

Enter Mary Berry, aka Mary, Queen of Cakes. The octogenarian baker, philanthropist and author of more books on how to be perfectly lovely in life and make delicious foods to boot than I can even count is absolutely beloved in the U.K. She’s an institution, but now (shock, horror!), the truth is out. 

According to clearly emotionally broken petrol head Hollywood, Berry is in reality a scoundrel, a scamp, even (gasp!) a scofflaw. 

See, Berry and Hollywood were doing cooking demos in Birmingham. When Hollywood was finished, he wanted to sign books for fans, and Berry saw her chance. She gathered her things and pretended to leave only to go directly to Hollywood’s Astin Martin (Yep, that ups the stakes a little, huh?) and, maniacally pretending not to have note paper, took a Sharpie and wrote (brace yourself, it’s rough) “Love Mary X” on the actual paint. 

Aston Martin, flawless paint job. Mary Barry, Sharpie.

Oh, the humanity. 

Watch Paul Hollywood tell the hysterical story to Johnathan Ross here and join us in bowing down to the utterly delightful, charming, erudite Mary Berry, Mary, Queen of Cakes. Long may she reign.


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